The dark, cold river reminded me of a deep black abyss, flowing rough and fast as I stand watching it from the wooden bridge. I have stood here many times before but never have I felt the dread I feel tonight. My heart thumping hard enough I can hear it, but it was not the only thing I can hear. The voice whispering to me,
“You must do it.” It laughs.
My hands shake as I puff on my cigarette, my hair brushing my face in the gentle wind. It is a warm night but still a shiver ran down my spine, I look down, deep into the water. A dancing silhouette under the dingy water called to me.
“Join me.” It sings, it’s voice welcoming and warm.
The empty bottle of pills on the floor beside me is blurring a little. The starry sky above lit the landscape I was looking onto beautifully. Sadness filling my stomach along with a severe burning sensation I assume is the tablets I had just swallowed. I close my eyes leaning over the metal railings of the bridge. My mothers face lit up my blank mind, she smiles, her arms wide open waiting for me to hug her. But I do not move. My step father appears by her side, his smirking lips tormenting me. After years of abuse, my mother had never noticed, never believed me.
“She knows the truth, she just loves me more.” His voice rings in my ears, echoing eerily.
I lean forward taking the leap which I have planned for days, I feel free as I fall 50ft in the air, crashing into the freezing water below me, It feels like icicles, millions at once, stabbing into my body. But I don’t mind, after all the voice had told me to do it. The voice which calms me, loves me and wants me to be with him, my boyfriend.
His car crash had ripped my heart out, I spent months trying to find a way to contact him from beyond the grave, and finally I have succeeded. He wants me to be with him, to live forever in the other world. He told me how beautiful it is, how the sun never sets, the people always smiling.
I force my eyes open searching for my love. His dark hair flowing into view, his pale hands reaching for my face. He grabs my hair pulling me lower, further and further into the abyss. His hands not gentle as I remember them, but filled with force. My lungs are giving up, I gasp for breath, panic flooding my body, I shake and twist my body in an attempt to swim back up, only to be dragged deeper under. I gasp again, this time I can feel the freezing water splintering my lungs.
No longer am I alive, the sun never sets because the sun will never rise. The constant blackness which swallows me up, tortures and torments me. The people always smile, their lips are sown that way. Not that you can really call them people, they have no legs, not one of them, nor skin or hair. Their black eyes which stare into my own, bringing all my worst memories back. I spend a lot of time reliving the beatings of my step father, the death of my boyfriend, and my own cowardly death. Each happen in a different way so the torture never ends. Never can I get used to this. I watch my mother from time to time, when I say watch I’m forced to possess her, I’m forced to slice her arms and legs, but killing her husband was my doing. I sliced his head of clean with a blade. I enjoyed watching the life fade from his eyes.
They’ve told me that one day, I will be like them. Not caring about killing. But they don’t know that already, I have lured so many to that bridge, dragging them to their untimely death. My story is told, but very rarely, because all those who hear it die. I wonder who’s next, how I’ll do it and when. I’ll let you know sometime.